Misjudging

Hai tuan, apa kabar?
Sudah lama kita tidak saling bertukar sapa, bahkan bertukar pikiran.
Jangan heran, semuanya sudah berubah sekarang.
Kau bukan lagi orang yg dulu kukenal.
Oh, apa mungkin aku yg salah?
Karena kurang mengenalmu dengan baik, atau karena beranggapan kau berbeda.

Ya, jangan salahkan aku, tuan.
Aku memang pernah mengharapkanmu.
Aku juga pernah menggantungkan angan-angan bersamamu.
Tapi tidak untuk saat ini.
Sudah cukup, tuan.
Sudah cukup tuan mempermainkan segala hati dan perasaan.
Mengatasnamakan cinta dan kasih sayang hanya untuk melemahkan orang lain.

Sepertinya perspektif tuan salah.
Cinta bukanlah layang-layang yg bisa ditarik ulur.
Cinta juga bukan tempat persinggahan yg seenaknya kau datangi ketika dunia sedang tidak bersahabat.

Selamat tinggal, tuan.
Mungkin memang lebih baik kita menjaga jarak.
Silahkan lanjutkan mencari tempat persinggahan barumu.
Dan aku akan melanjutkan mencari rumah impianku.......

Don't make it harder

I just don't understand why..... and how, my heart feels fluttered when I hear his laugh, even when I see his super-perfect-face.

I just don't understand why..... and how, he appeared in my dreams recently. And I, end up waking up with longing for him even more.

I love you. I know I have no confidence or even the courage to tell you that. I love you even if I could only see you from the back, and thinking, how we should together, and how you should be next to me.

I miss being next to you, being so close to you. Being the one you cared of. Oh sorry I forgot, maybe you just acted like that one. Maybe you thought that I'm the one you could played with when you bored. It's okay, really. As long as I could always be so close to you, and see your precious smile as long as I want.

So now, what's the point for ignored me? For treat me like a stranger? I just want to be close to you. Laugh together, and having fun together. Just...... please, don't make it harder for me.

It's enough for me for loving you one-side. It's really fine. I love to see you from the back. I love for secretly stalking you all day.

Please, don't make it even harder for me......

Malang, May, 8th 2013, 01:37am

A bead of happiness

Alhamdulillah....
Mungkin hanya kata itu yg bisa kuucapkan sekarang. Allah has given me something that soooo-great and blissful. I am completely happy now. I just have to fight this battle successfully.

My heart truly happy now. Siapa bilang aku hanya akan bahagia jika orang yg kusayang dan menyayangiku menjadi milikku? No. Bahkan tanpa mereka pun kita masih bisa hidup. Dan bahagia.

Feeling satisfied with just family and friends, with every little thing that running in my circle life. It is enough for me. My reasons to live and smile, it is all here. And I believe, it is just another matter of time for anyone who will come into my life and spread his love sincerity to open my heart. Again....

Anyway, big thanks, Allah. You're the savior of my life {}